DO
Do it by text
It is safer. Some men do not take rejection well.
Do it as soon as possible
Delaying the conversation will only give his feelings time to grow stronger.
Choose your words carefully
Be clear and concise. Plan what you are going to say, and even plan responses to some questions he may have.
Stay calm
Keep your cool even though he may begin to lose his temper. Some men react with anger, hostility, and even violence when they fell their ego is bruised.
Acknowledge the compliment
Thank him for his interest in you. Let him know that you are flattered, but make it clear that the feelings are not reciprocated.
Get to the point
Long winded explanations are not required. There is no need need to tell stories or to elaborate on your decision.
Make it all about you
- I don’t have romantic feeling for you. I don’t see you that way.
- I am interested in someone else.
- I am not ready for a relationship. I don’t want to be in relationship.
- I am focused on my career/education/business.
Stay on message
He may try to question your decision. Do not let him change the subject, and do not respond to any insults.
Have a firm close
End with a statement that does not require a response. “Thank you for understanding”, “I have made up my mind.”
Ignore follow up texts
After you are satisfied that you made your point
DON’T
Don’t ghost him
In addition to being rude, it is immature, and inconsiderate. As an adult, you need to know how to handle confrontations and awkward situations.
Don’t give him a compliment
He may misinterpret kind words to mean that you still like him.
Don’t give him hope
He should not be left to think that your feelings are temporary, or that a change in circumstances might change your mind.
Don’t offer too many reasons
Choose no more than two excuses for not wanting to see him. More than two reasons will prolong the conversation and possibly cause confusion.
Don’t apologize
You should not sound as if you have any regrets, sense of loss, or doubt. Be certain in your decision so that he knows you are not sorry.
